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For some ”Father’s Day” means scar’s and ugly memories which have yet to be fully expunged from hearts or at best forgiven, so that we can move on and be free.  For others, maybe it gives pleasant memories of fun filled times with a loving father.  Or perhaps it is an empty hole because they have never known a father either through death or because their father absconded and was never truly known.

Now we find ourselves in the same position as our fathers had been in relation to us.  In a place where we are charged with the responsibility to “give” to our children in the way, we have been or would have loved to have been able to receive from our Dad’s.

What do you want to leave as a memory for your children versus what are your memories of your father?

When I recall my father, though he died over 37 years ago, I am reminded that I had so little time with him to learn and to understand what motivated him in life, what caused him to live the life he did and hold onto his faith.

If you consider this fact, that you do not know the day of your death, as my father did not.  What memory do you want to leave your children, what drove and motivated you to be the man you are now?

For man also knoweth not his time: Ecclesiastes 9:12a (KJV)

I only had 15 years to obtain some of those threads to my Dad’s life.  However, I have come to realise that even though they are small in number, there have been enough threads for me to grasp the essentials of what he would have desired to pass on to me, so that I could pass them on to my children.

What threads have you left for your children?

Raising boys in my fathers time was within a totally different framework from where I stand today, bringing up my sons.  Technology, the environment, society has all altered beyond recognition.  However, the message that a good father has to pass on, is still the same – as the core truths of life are timeless and ageless.

So what message or advice did my Dad’s life pass on to me that is still as relevant today as it was 100 years ago.

1.            A good name is worth more than all the riches of this world.    For the day of a man’s death is more important than the day of his birth? So said King Solomon more than 2,000 years ago. What you are at the day of your death defines what you have become through the way you lived your life.  This will also in turn define where you spend eternity.

2.            Honesty is always the best policy!    You never need to look over your shoulder if you act honestly in all of your endeavours.

3.            Treat others as you want to be treated yourself!

4.            Love your family with all your heart - even when it hurts! As our saviour Jesus Christ loved us even to death on a cruel Roman cross.

5.            Love your wife as Christ loves his Church. Love sacrificially with all of your might: this will be the glue that bonds your family together and demonstrates to your children what it means to have a great marriage.

6.            Pursue virtue with all your heart in all you do. This will protect you from falling into evil ways and destroying all that you love the most – your wife, children, your close friends and family.
 
7.            To love is to serve.  In serving our lives as men are made full and complete.  Christ was a servant and the very expression of love.  He did not live a life in reckless pursuit of his own personal schemes, He lived to serve!

One thing is certain in life – we will all die – but in that there is another truth - that whilst we will all die – not all of us will truly ‘LIVE!’

Solomon reminds us very clearly that we cannot control death, distress, defiance, and deception.  If we can accept this and then simply entrust everything to God – then we will not be ruled by misery or anxiety!  We can well note that anxiety is the scourge of the 21st century man!  However our solution is not found in the bottle but in God’s wisdom!

With this in mind we can certainly live in the full knowledge that this life can be exceptionally hard and difficult at times – yet it is also without doubt abundant and fulfilling, when you commit all to Christ.

In considering these statements I am further reminded that as I have pursued God’s way myself, I have grown up to understand more fully the above list of things my Dad has passed on to me.  I am clearly reminded that my Heavenly Father – having said He would be a ‘Father to the Fatherless’ has done exactly this through a variety of methods and means, some which have hurt a lot and others that have been encouraging.

Regardless of my personal experience of a father and fathering I am reminded on this coming Father’s Day that our ultimate example is in fact from our Heavenly Father.  That He has placed on each of us a huge weight of responsibility that as a father we ought also to sacrifice ourselves in the same way that He did, to enable our children to find God’s way which leads to eternal life!

So let’s remember our children this Fathers Day and perform some small action for example a special ‘Dad note’ that will bless and show them that they are a high priority in our lives.  They are also children for whom Christ died just as we are and what is important to Christ, our Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit our teacher and guide through this life, is of equal paramount importance to us – their earthly Dad!

God Bless all you Dad’s!           Go on – just do it and be it!